Of Leather Pants and Things That Glitter
by Lyn Harkeran
Summary: A Christmas Oneshot: Jareth acquires a new baby from the Aboveground on Christmas Eve and decides to pay his old friend Rumpelstiltskin a visit. Playful banter and heartfelt moments ensue. Rumpelstiltskin/Belle and Jareth/Sarah


**Of Leather Pants and Things That Glitter**

* * *

Jareth rubbed his forehead with his gloved forefinger and sighed loudly. Why was he constantly surrounded by morons? The answer eluded him, and he immediately realized that he would never have an answer to his rhetorical question. At least not one he wanted.

The Goblin King was currently sitting in the throne room of his castle, watching his subjects pamper the child he had just taken moments before from a single mother in the Aboveground. The woman had been in her early teens and had flung herself at him with harsh advances and crude gestures, begging to be taken away as well. After he had been able to pry his cloak from her wandering hands, Jareth had grabbed the child and disappeared in record time, praying that the harpy didn't somehow manage to follow him. To his great relief, the sex deprived human had stayed in the Aboveground.

Now that he had had time to catch his breath, the Goblin King finally turned his gaze to watch the chunky baby girl crawl around on the cobbled floor, her eyes focused completely on the chicken that had dared to come close enough for her to touch, and giggled when it clucked at her.

"_If all beings were as simple and pure as children, all the realms would be favorable places indeed." _

As Jareth pondered this, a fat goblin came forward and cleared his throat.

"What is it," the king snapped, annoyed at the interruption.

"What ar' weay gonna do wit' the bab'a?" The goblin asked as his large eyes traveled back to the baby who had somehow caught the chicken and was now giving it slobbery, open mouthed kisses. "Shall weay get er ready to beacom' one of us?"

Jareth thought for a moment before he shook his head.

"I'll deal with the baby."

The goblin snorted loudly and nodded quickly before he waddled back to join the rowdy group of goblins.

Jareth stood from his throne and strode over to the little girl who still had the chicken in a chokehold, and gently picked her up in his arms. The baby immediately dropped the chicken and stared at him with large innocent eyes that made the King smile.

"Come little one," he whispered in her ear. "There's someone who is just dying to meet you."

Without another word, Jareth threw a handful of glitter on himself and the baby and they disappeared leaving the Underground far behind them.

* * *

Belle dusted the large bookshelf before her vigorously, making dust and cobwebs fly in all directions. But the young woman didn't stop until she was satisfied that she would be able to polish the fine wooden shelves without getting her rag dirty.

"_If he would have let me clean this room weeks ago, I wouldn't have to be doing this now on Christmas Eve!" _She thought in exasperation as she poured the polish onto her rag and began whipping down the shelf.

Belle had been living with Rumpelstiltskin for several months now, and she had thought that she had cleaned every inch of the Dark Castle in her time being there. She was mistaken.

There were two rooms that she had never been allowed to enter, and now since she had gained Rumpelstiltskin's trust, she had been given the _'privilege'_ of cleaning his workroom and bedchamber.

Rumpelstiltskin's bedroom had been a simple task, with a quick dusting and scrub and it was finished. But when the young woman had entered the workroom- with her measly cleaning supplies and the two homemade rags that she had ripped off her dress- she had begun to laugh and cry at the same time, much to the confusion of her Rumpelstiltskin. Once she had gotten control of her fit of giggles and sobs, Belle had explained that she would need far more cleaner and rags if she even wanted to make a dent in the mess. The Dark One after hearing her explanation had readily given her more equipment than she could ever use and left her to her task with a high pitched giggle and words of mocking encouragement.

As Belle had begun to throw away the countless bits of junk that littered the floor, the woman had promised herself that she would get Rumpelstiltskin back for this nasty surprise. And on that happy note of revenge, Belle had cleaned the workroom.

Now she was polishing the last of the bookshelves and finishing up the horrendous task, thanking the Gods that she had survived.

"_Dinner should be ready by now, and then I can enjoy the remainder of the night with a cup of tea and watch the snowfall." _

Belle smiled as she began to put the books back into their rightful places, and laughed in triumph as she slid the last one in its place. And as she laughed, she heard a strange cooing noise from the window. Turning, she nearly jumped out of her skin as her gaze fell on a strange man with mismatched eyes and outlandish hair standing before her.

"Who-who are you?" Belle asked with wide eyes.

The man studied her for a moment before he smirked, "You may call me Jareth, my dear." Then after studying her for another moment his smirk grew. "Ahhh, you must be Belle! Rumples told me all about you the last time I paid him a visit."

"You know Rumpelstiltskin," Belle asked visibly relaxing at the mention of her employer.

The man nodded. "Yes. We've been friends for many years."

Belle took several steps closer and noticed that the man was holding something to his chest in a small bundle. But she didn't pry into the matter.

"Are you here on business, sir?" She asked politely. "I can take you to Rumpelstiltskin if you like."

The man gave her a devil-may-care look. "I wouldn't call it business, my dear. Rumples invited me to dinner."

Belle eyes grew wide again and she blushed madly.

"Dinner? Oh . . . I'm afraid I didn't make anything special. Rumpelstiltskin didn't tell me that he had company!"

Jareth rolled his eyes, "He did it to get under your skin, Belle. I'm sure whatever you've prepared will be more than satisfactory."

Belle smiled at him for the first time and Jareth finally understood why Rumpelstiltskin had become so enthralled with her. She truly was beautiful.

"That's very kind of you, sir."

"Jareth," the Goblin King corrected immediately.

"Jareth," Belle agreed walking closer so she was only standing several feet away.

And at that exact moment, a soft cooing sound came from the small bundle Jareth carried in his arms and a small hand reached out to grab one of the King's long strands of hair.

Belle drew closer until she was able to get a clear view of the beautiful baby girl.

"She's beautiful," the woman said in awe. "Is she yours?"

"No," Jareth replied as the baby began to playfully tug on his hair, making him wince. "I'm merely trying to find her a proper home."

Belle thought about this for a moment before she reached for the child. "May I hold her?"

Jareth handed her the child without a second thought and watched as Belle hugged the baby to her chest and began to talk to her. It was as the woman had forgotten that she had an audience, for she completely ignored Jareth and snuggled with the little girl lovingly.

It was like this that Rumpelstiltskin found them. The Dark One approached his old friend and nodded in greeting.

"Jareth, so glad you could make it."

Jareth rolled his eyes. "When have I ever not come when you've asked me to?"

Rumpelstiltskin seemed to think about it for a moment before he shrugged and an odd giggle escaped him. "I don't remember, dearie! But it's no matter!"

Then Rumpelstiltskin's gaze sifted to Belle who was still holding the baby and his eyes sparkled with a foreign emotion that the Goblin King had never seen in his friend before.

"Jareth what have you done to my housekeeper?" He teased with another giggle. "Now I won't be able to give the child away without a scene!"

Belle looked up with a frown, "I thought your friend here was going to take care of her?"

Rumpelstiltskin shook his head as he exchanged a glace with the Goblin King.

"Jareth was bringing her to me, dearie." Rumpelstiltskin explained. "You see, I almost always have deals that require babies and Jareth is constantly receiving unwanted ones. So why not form an alliance to give homes to all the discarded children we find?"

Belle looked at both of them in wonder, "Are you really?"

Jareth shrugged. "It's a never-ending occupation," he admitted, "But it is also a challenge. Which we've found is something that Rumples and I absolutely cannot resist."

Rumpelstiltskin grinned, "Yes indeed!"

Belle was still for a moment before she slowly walked over to the two men and gave each a chaste kiss on the cheek. Jareth smirked at her and Rumpelstiltskin blushed and tried to hide it with a harsh cough. The Goblin King immediately decided to capitalize on the moment with a wicked smirk.

"You didn't tell me that your Belle was a kisser, Rumples." Jareth remarked winking at Belle. "I must come and visit you more often."

"Thank you both," Belle said, pushing away the man's smug comment without another thought. "It's so sweet that you two would try to help children find loving homes."

Rumpelstiltskin cleared his throat uncomfortably to which Jareth chuckled and said, "Well, we might be villainous, my dear, but we aren't completely cold-hearted."

Belle grinned. "I know you aren't. But it's still nice to see someone trying to make the world a better place."

The three were quiet for a moment before Rumpelstiltskin broke the silence.

"What's her name?"

"She doesn't have one, yet." Jareth answered truthfully. "I left that honor to you, Rumples. You always seem to get such a kick out of names, that I didn't have the heart to deny you your obsession."

"That I do," Rumpelstiltskin agreed with a small smile. "But I think Belle should be the one to name her."

Belle looked at him curiously. "Why?'

"You seem to be the most attached to her, dearie."

Belle knew this was true so she looked down at the beautiful baby and after several seconds she picked a name.

"Sarah," she said simply. "Sarah Rose."

Jareth lifted an eyebrow and in response Rumpelstiltskin giggled merrily.

"Sarah Rose, it shall be!" The Dark One stated with a raised hand. "Now! Shall we continue our conversation over dinner?"

Belle shook her head and laughed good-naturedly, "Alright, Rumpelstiltskin. We'll eat. Here can you take her for me?"

Rumpelstiltskin took the baby and to his surprise, baby Sarah gave him a large slobbery kiss on his nose.

"She likes you," Jareth commented as they made their way to the dining room where Belle had placed the simple dinner she had prepared.

The meal was a cheerful one, with pleasant conversation and lots of laughter. And when they had finished, Belle cleared the table and they sat around the fireplace, drinking tea while Belle hummed Christmas Carols and watched the snow.

Then after another hour or so the Goblin King rose to leave for the night, Belle rose from her seat and gave him a tender hug.

"Merry Christmas, Jareth."

"Merry Christmas, Belle, Rumpelstiltskin."

"Merry Christmas, dearie! Tell your lover-ly wife hello for me." Rumpelstiltskin said as Jareth donned his cloak and brought out a handful of glitter from within the fabric.

Jareth chuckled, "I'm sure Sarah will have a good laugh when I tell her about tonight's events, Rumples. I'll bring her next time. She'll absolutely adore, your Belle."

Belle blinked in confusion at the mention of '_Sarah'_, but didn't have time ask what he meant, for Jareth had already thrown the glitter on himself and disappeared.

As the young woman turned to him, Rumpelstiltskin seemed to read her mind and grinned.

"Jareth's wife is named Sarah, Belle. I suppose that's why he was so shocked when you chose the babes' name."

Belle laughed and shook her head as she walked over to give Rumpelstiltskin a hug before she turned in for the night with baby Sarah.

"Merry Christmas, Rumpelstiltskin," She said sweetly as she pulled away from him.

"Merry Christmas, dearie," he whispered back.

Belle gave him one last smile before she walked towards her bedroom with Sarah cradled in her arms.

As the young woman dressed for bed and tucked the already sleeping baby into the crook of her body, she thanked the Gods that she lived in the Dark Castle and that the next morning would be Christmas.

* * *

_**Peace on Earth, can it be?**_

_**Years from now, perhaps we'll see.**_

_**See the day of glory**_

_**See the day when men of good will **_

_**Live in peace, live in peace again.**_

_**"***"**_

_**Peace on Earth **_

_**Can it be?**_

_**"***"**_

_**Every child must be made aware **_

_**Every child must be made to care**_

_**Care enough for his fellow man**_

_**To give all the love that he can**_

_**"***"**_

_**I pray my wish will come true . . . **__**For my child and your child too**_

_**They'll see the day of glory**_

_**See the day when men of good will **_

_**Live in peace, live in peace again.**_

_**"***"**_

_**Peace on Earth **_

_**Can it be?**_

_~Peace on Earth: David Bowie_

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

I have wanted to write a Jareth and Rumpelstiltskin story since I watched the first episode of Once Upon a Time, so I was obviously overjoyed when I finally got to it! ^^

I believe that the two baby-obsessed lovelies would be good friends: They both have a thing for babies, they both wear tight leather pants(YUM!), and they both have very attractive voices/accents! They sound like they could be besties! *screams* I like that idea far too much! (drools)

Anyway, this is my Christmas Piece! I hope you guys like it! ^_^ Please review if you read!

~Lyn Harkeran


End file.
